You two were so happy together, your relationship seemed to be doing okay, but now it is over. You are having a difficult time trying to figure out exactly where things went wrong. You also feel that it’s now time to get your ex back. Be careful! At this point it’s best to tread lightly, otherwise, you run the risk of approaching things the wrong way and permanently putting your relationship on ice. It seems like everybody has all kinds of advice for you, but while they mean well, their advice isn’t all that great. They have good intentions, but they’re not you and they don’t understand your relationship as well as you do. You feel all alone and aren’t sure what you should do to win back your ex, or if you even have a chance.

Before you even consider taking the first step, be sure that things have settled down between you and your ex. While you may be ready to try to patch things up, your ex may still be fuming over the breakup. Just give them some space and time before barging in on them.

Talk to your ex’s friends and family to see how your ex is doing. This will give you some indication if they’re ready to talk to you yet or not. Their friends and family should have the best interests of your ex in mind and have nothing to lose by telling you how it is. If you are hearing good feedback, then you can move on to the next step: initial contact.

Keep the initial contact as low-key as possible. Be polite and respectful. If things seem to be calm enough move on to setting up a time to talk about things. The key here is to meet in a neutral and non-threatening place, where you can talk quietly. This way it’s less likely one of you two will cause a scene, and neither of you has to feel trapped (if things don’t go as well as you had hoped).

Assuming you will be moving toward getting back together. This will steer the conversation in a better direction. While you may have to discuss where things went wrong, do so with the idea that it will prevent you from making the same mistakes in the future. Demonstrate to your ex that you’ve learned from the past and have a plan for not letting it happen again. If the conversation allows, talk about the things that attracted you to each other when you first met.

Take things nice and easy. Work on not only rebuilding your previously broken relationship but also on creating a fresh new one. Doing it this way will give you the best chance to get your ex back.